Roommate Cleanliness Expectations

Discussing roommate cleanliness early in your shared-living relationship, will help you avoid major disagreements in the future.

You’ve followed all the advice for picking the perfect roommate. After a little time living together you notice that you and your roommate have very different ideas about how clean your apartment should be. You both seemed cooperative and willing to make an effort during the initial phase of your relationship. However, as you glance around the apartment you notice:

• moldy dishes
• dirty laundry
• crumpled papers
• shoes in the middle of the floor
• a broken coffee mug
• something sticky that you can’t identify (and aren’t sure you WANT to identify!)

As much as you may want to continue to act laid-back, the truth is that if these things bother you, it’s important that you’re open and honest about it. The following tips will help you address those issues without causing a rift between you and your roommate.

Keep Things in Perspective:

The fact is, there are as many ways to live as there are people in the world. It’s unlikely that your roommate happens to be your perfect doppelgänger. Your roommate is probably not purposely creating a home that you feel uncomfortable living in. They’re just doing them.

Communicate:

Ask your roommate if they’re free to grab a cup of coffee, and talk to them in a low-key way about the fact that you aren’t comfortable with how things are. Let them know that you want them to feel comfortable and don’t expect perfection, but you’d like to meet in the middle. If they can agree to that (and they should since you chose them so carefully!) then it’s time to agree to some terms.

Find a Middle Ground:

If you have your own rooms, suggest that common areas be kept relatively free of clutter and mess. If not, think about which areas you’re most concerned about, and talk to your roommate about those. The broken coffee mug could cut someone’s foot. The moldy dishes could make you both sick. Once you’ve resolved those issues, ask yourself if you can live with textbooks on the coffee table and hoodies draped over the backs of chairs. Compromise is a two-way street, so don’t forget to meet in the middle. An open and respectful relationship with your roommate will make you both feel like you are truly at home.

Have you survived a cleanliness conflict with a roommate? Let us know how it worked out in the comments below. Don’t forget to share your own apartment living advice and hacks for keeping your apartment clean!