If your child goes off to college for any length of time at all, chances are you will get that call one day that starts, “My roommate is driving me crazy…!”
When that call comes in, many parents jump into action, thinking it’s their job to “fix” the situation. Parents naturally want to look out for their child. Sometimes though, roommate issues are best solved without parent involvement.
In reality, most roommate problems are usually small disagreements that can usually be solved between your student and the offending party. Remember too that sometimes the first thing a student does when a problem arises is call home. If your child is living in an apartment with more than one roommate, your chances of getting “the call” increases.
However, experts who deal with college aged kids say there’s usually no reason for parents to get involved in roommate troubles. In fact, most of the time just lending a sympathetic ear and giving your child a chance to vent is all it takes for them to figure out what to do on their own. Allowing your child to deal with this issue on their own will also help them with conflict resolution, standing up for themselves and increased independence.
Of course there are issues that may require parental intervention. If a roommate stops paying rent, theft of personal property has occurred or your child feels unsafe in the situation, by all means a little “Mom and Dad” intervention may be required. There is nothing wrong with helping your child out if they ask for your help and you feel like they will need your help to succeed.
Typically, tiffs between roommates are minor and will blow over within a few days, and most of the time the situation is resolved easier if your student handles it his or herself.
Did your child ever contact you with roommate troubles? What did you do to help them resolve the issue? Share your stories with us in the comment section below.
3 Comments. Leave new
Deciding to live off campus was one of the best decisions I ever made! I met my roommate through the apartment complex roommate matching system. We are best friends now! But we weren’t always so close! I remember calling my mom and asking her to move me somewhere else, ANYWHERE else…she told me to “just give it time”. It took a couple months to get comfortable with each others routines and habits. After a little time, we realized we were into the same music. We started going to shows together and spending more time with each other. If my mom actually moved me away from the situation, I have no idea who my best friend would be!
When I moved off campus and went to my mom for help she just made the situation way worst. I decided to stop evolving her, I would recommend just being there for your kids instead of getting involved. They will be happy you did.
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