Dealing With Problems Between Your Roommate and Significant Other

Life in your new college apartment has been going extremely well: you and your roommate get along and no major disagreements have popped up. However, you’ve met a girl or boy you really like that your roommate simply can’t stand and your significant other feels the same way.

What can you do in a tough situation like this? Do you have to dump the girl or change your roommate? Not necessarily. There are ways you can deal with this annoying situation.

Set Up the Ground Rules

When it becomes clear that your roommates and significant other don’t get along, you need to immediately set up rules of behavior that will make everyone’s life easier. They don’t have to like each other, but they do have to be civil.

Reasonable ground rules include:

• Treating each other civilly when you’re around.
• Avoiding coming to you to complain about the other.
• Stop expecting you to choose sides.
• Create “visitation” times when your girlfriend comes over and when you hang with your roommate.

Try to Wait It Out

Sometimes people just clash for no real reason, but eventually start getting along. That might be all you need in this situation. If you’re lucky, your roommate and girlfriend will suddenly become buddies.

That’s why you should encourage group activities that include the two of them. This could give them the chance to patch up their differences and become friends.

Try to Encourage Them to Work Through It

So you’ve set your ground rules and waited for them to get over it, but you’re still being almost literally torn in-two by your roomie and significant other. Now what?

Sit down with them and get real. Explain that you care deeply about both of them and don’t want to lose either. Try to get to the root of their dislike and bring it to the open. Often, this kind of dislike is just an issue of jealousy: both resent the time you spend with the other.

Have you experienced this situation and dealt with it in your own unique way? How did you deal with this situation? Let us know about your experiences in the comment section below.