Breaking Up With Your Roommate

For whatever reason, it’s just not going to work out with your college roommate. It’s not you, it’s her, but she doesn’t have to know that.

Breaking up with your roommate should be treated just as delicately as leaving any other relationship. How can you nicely let a person know that you don’t want to live with them anymore? Whether you’re on good terms or bad, we over at College Rentals have put together a little guide to help you tell them the right way.

 

Consider the Lease

Before you do anything, make sure everything is squared away legally. If you can manage to wait, the best practical time to have this conversation would be at the expiration of your lease. Sometimes, though, the relationship and living environment becomes too toxic, and you need a way out sooner rather than later. Explain the situation to your landlord and ask if you can sublease. If you can’t, try to keep things civil until you’re able to move out. Off campus housing can be tricky to navigate, and you definitely won’t want to sublease without asking.

 

Consider Their Feelings

If her boyfriend just dumped her, or her cat died, or if she just slept through a midterm, don’t do it. Really, no time is a great time for breaking up with someone, but a little humanity goes a long way. If you’re considerate, it’s how they’ll remember you.

 

Consider Your Surroundings

If either of you have friends over, then it’s not a good time. Don’t be in public. If they become embarrassed, they won’t want to be around a bunch of people. Keep it in the apartment – preferably in the common space.

The Talk

Even if they are wholly insufferable, don’t play the blame game and try to use mostly “I” statements. Focus more on your incompatibility as roommates and not as people. She may be your best friend, but parties too much. Maybe you’re a total neat freak and she is totally okay living in a pig pen. Tell her the things you love about her as a person and this will let her know that you do still care.

On the other hand, if she steals your stuff and lies compulsively, then at most say something like, “I don’t feel as though your home is a safe space.” If your roommate has really wronged you, you’ll be able to get your point across without being petty or mean. At the end of the day, you’ll be proud that you didn’t yell and scream, and that you handled the situation like an adult.

 

The Aftermath

First, let’s assume you weren’t friends with your roommate and that you could never see yourself hanging out ever again. That’s okay. Once you move out, that will be the end of it. In fact, if you were on bad terms, it was probably understood by both of you that you wouldn’t be renewing together, and you might not have had to have “the talk” at all.

This section is meant more for the awkward breakup between roommates who are also friends. While you know that your breakup is just a breakup from living together, your ex-roomie may be inclined to take things the wrong way. Make it a point to keep in touch, and invite her to go out with you shortly after your lease is up. Show her that it’s nothing personal by maintaining your friendship outside of the home.

 

 

Ending any relationship stinks, but just because you can’t live together in a student apartment doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. Balance getting your needs met and considering the other person, treating both as equally important.