Finding a roommate is undoubtedly a challenging process. From selecting the right platform to start your search to narrowing down options, choosing a good roommate requires some time and patience. An important element of the process, and perhaps the most important, is determining the gender of the person you want to room with. While it is common for people of the same gender to live together, there are also many situations in which people room with the opposite gender.
Living in a co-ed apartment is what you make of it. While there are arguably some differences between how men and women function and operate, the core of having a healthy, smooth co-ed living experience is through understanding and communication.
Though it may not be your first choice, living in a co-ed apartment is nothing to be scared of, and can actually be a great experience. If you are living in an apartment for the first time, let alone a co-ed apartment, there are some important things to know in order to make the most of your living situation. Here’s exactly what you need to know before jumping into a decision regarding living in a co-ed apartment.
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1. Establish Ground Rules: For any living situation, it is important to establish a set of common ground rules that each person agrees on and can abide by. Try to initiate a conversation involving ground rules from the beginning so that way you and your potential roomie are on the same page regarding what they can tolerate and what they can’t. Ground rules can be pretty much anything and usually include curfew times, cleaning duties, noise levels, smoking/non-smoking, when to have friends over, sharing food/toiletries, splitting bills, etc. Spelling out the ground rules even more specifically when you are living in a co-ed apartment guarantees that there will hopefully be no misunderstandings.
2. Compromise With the Bathroom: A huge point of contention between roommates, same-gender or not, is sharing and working with the bathroom space. Bathrooms are touchy subjects for many roommates, as cleaning them, splitting the space up, and sharing toiletries can cause serious problems if there is no communication. For roommates of the opposite gender, the lines can be even more blurred and attitudes more contrasting. To solve this problem, talk about how you want to use the space and what you would like out of it, and vice versa with your roommate. If you want to have your makeup on the counter, can your roomie have access to the medicine cabinet? This is just one of the hypotheticals to explore.
3. Avoid Any Kind of Romance: In most cases, no situation is ever made better by adding in a complex layer of love and romance. While you may be tempted to romance your new roommate or potentially hook up, try to avoid this at all costs. Living with a friend is one thing, but awkwardly living with a roommate after a hookup or having unrequited feelings for your roommate is a whole other territory that is truly not worth exploring. In these situations, feelings can get involved, emotions take over, and (mostly) no one is happy.
4. Be Open to Their Friends: When living in a co-ed apartment, you not only will be dealing with your roommate but there’s also a good chance you will encounter their group of friends from time to time. As your roommate’s friends are likely going to be regulars at your apartment, why not be open to becoming their friend too? Find a common area of interest to connect on, such as movies, sports, music, food, etc., and use that as a way to break the ice and become closer. The more positive, friendly energy you have in your apartment, the better. Who knows, they could turn out to be cool and you could have a new group of people to call friends.
5. Give Each Person Equal Say in Decisions: No one ever wants to feel as if they don’t have a voice or input in a decision, whether it be a big or small one. Regardless of gender, each person should have an equal say in apartment decisions, such as determining a curfew on weekdays/weekends, picking out decorations or paint colors, arranging furniture, cleaning, etc. Allowing each person to have their own opinion and give their input not only creates a more peaceful, smooth living situation, but it also is a big sign of respect for the other person.
Living in a co-ed apartment is definitely a less popular choice when it comes to choosing a living arrangement. But while it may be a more alternative living situation, there is nothing that is inherently difficult about rooming with someone who is of the opposite gender. There may be situations where you are ready to launch them to the next planet or just yell at them to get your frustrations out, but nonetheless, situations like these are almost always easy to figure out and overcome.
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